George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians”. He was known for his dark comedy, and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects.
Here are some thoughts of his from various shows about politics and freedom:
“There’s one thing you must have noticed. I don’t complain about politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities and they are elected by the American citizens. This is the best we can do, folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces. Garbage in. Garbage out. Because if it’s really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans, ready to step in, and save the nation and lead the way? We don’t have people like that in this country. Everybody is at the mall. Scratching his ass. Picking his nose. Taking his credit card out of his fanny pack and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them.
So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. On election day, I stay home. I don’t vote. Suck them. Fuck them. I don’t vote. Two reasons. Two reasons I don’t vote. First of all, it’s meaningless. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. The ship they shuffle around every four years, doesn’t mean a fucking thing. And secondly, I don’t vote because I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around, I know. They say, well, if you don’t vote it’s your right. Where’s the logic in that?
If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what you have done. You caused the problem. You voted them in. You have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who did not vote, who did not even leave the house on election day, is in no way responsable for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I wanted but the mess you created that I had nothing to do with it. So, I know that a little later on this year you’re going to have another one of those really swell presidential show elections that you like so much. You’ll enjoy yourselves, it will be a lot of fun. I’m sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. As for me I’ll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you. The only difference is: when I get finished masturbating, I’m going to have a little something to show for it folks.
And I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fucking cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. No one would know what to do. Honesty would fuck this country up. And I think deep down Americans know that. That’s why they elected and re-elected Bill Clinton. Because the American people like their bullshit right out front where they can get a good strong whiff of it. Clinton might be full of shit but at least he lets you know it. Dole tried to hide it, didn’t he? Didn’t he kept on saying ‘I’m a plain and honest man.’ Bullshit. People don’t believe that. What did Clinton say? He said, ‘Hi folks. I’m completely full of shit and how do you like that?’ And the people said, ‘You know something? At least he’s honest. At least he’s honest about being completely full of shit.'”
Here is what he had to say when invited on a t.v. programme:
“I’ve found that, artistically, as a writer, it gives you an emotional separation from the outcome. A lot of comedians I hear, when they complain about stuff, they seem to imply that everything could be all right if we just do this, or just do that. I don’t care. It’s never going to work. If you think that’s the solution, you’re part of the problem. That’s what I believe.”
“The funny thing about this country is they talk about how we have freedom of choice. Yeah. Very limited. It’s an important thing, limited choice. Two political parties, essentially, two. Big media companies, five, six, max. Oil companies are down to three now, I think. Three or four, overall. Banks, the big banks, the big brokerage houses, the big accounting firms. All the things that are important reduced in choice. Newspapers in a city. How many? It used to be three, four. Now it’s one or two, owned by the same people and they also own a radio station and a t.v. station. But jelly beans? 32 flavours. Ice-cream flavours – things that don’t matter. The unimportant things – lot of choices. Do you know what your freedom of choice is in America? Paper or plastic. That’s it man. It comes down to paper or plastic, cash or charge, aisle or window, smoking or non-smoking, Coke or Pepsi. These are your choices. Everything else is kind of laid out for you. You get to do what they really want. They do what they want. The ones who own this country, they do what they want.”
American stand-up comedian George Carlin about Politics and Freedom
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comedians of all time, he was dubbed “the dean of counterculture comedians”. He was known for his dark comedy, and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects.
Here are some thoughts of his from various shows about politics and freedom:
“There’s one thing you must have noticed. I don’t complain about politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities and they are elected by the American citizens. This is the best we can do, folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces. Garbage in. Garbage out. Because if it’s really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans, ready to step in, and save the nation and lead the way? We don’t have people like that in this country. Everybody is at the mall. Scratching his ass. Picking his nose. Taking his credit card out of his fanny pack and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them.
So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. On election day, I stay home. I don’t vote. Suck them. Fuck them. I don’t vote. Two reasons. Two reasons I don’t vote. First of all, it’s meaningless. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. The ship they shuffle around every four years, doesn’t mean a fucking thing. And secondly, I don’t vote because I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around, I know. They say, well, if you don’t vote it’s your right. Where’s the logic in that?
If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent people, and they get into office and screw everything up, well you are responsible for what you have done. You caused the problem. You voted them in. You have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who did not vote, who did not even leave the house on election day, is in no way responsable for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I wanted but the mess you created that I had nothing to do with it. So, I know that a little later on this year you’re going to have another one of those really swell presidential show elections that you like so much. You’ll enjoy yourselves, it will be a lot of fun. I’m sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. As for me I’ll be home on that day doing essentially the same thing as you. The only difference is: when I get finished masturbating, I’m going to have a little something to show for it folks.
And I think Americans really show their ignorance when they say they want their politicians to be honest. What are these fucking cretins talking about? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. No one would know what to do. Honesty would fuck this country up. And I think deep down Americans know that. That’s why they elected and re-elected Bill Clinton. Because the American people like their bullshit right out front where they can get a good strong whiff of it. Clinton might be full of shit but at least he lets you know it. Dole tried to hide it, didn’t he? Didn’t he kept on saying ‘I’m a plain and honest man.’ Bullshit. People don’t believe that. What did Clinton say? He said, ‘Hi folks. I’m completely full of shit and how do you like that?’ And the people said, ‘You know something? At least he’s honest. At least he’s honest about being completely full of shit.'”
Here is what he had to say when invited on a t.v. programme:
“I’ve found that, artistically, as a writer, it gives you an emotional separation from the outcome. A lot of comedians I hear, when they complain about stuff, they seem to imply that everything could be all right if we just do this, or just do that. I don’t care. It’s never going to work. If you think that’s the solution, you’re part of the problem. That’s what I believe.”
“The funny thing about this country is they talk about how we have freedom of choice. Yeah. Very limited. It’s an important thing, limited choice. Two political parties, essentially, two. Big media companies, five, six, max. Oil companies are down to three now, I think. Three or four, overall. Banks, the big banks, the big brokerage houses, the big accounting firms. All the things that are important reduced in choice. Newspapers in a city. How many? It used to be three, four. Now it’s one or two, owned by the same people and they also own a radio station and a t.v. station. But jelly beans? 32 flavours. Ice-cream flavours – things that don’t matter. The unimportant things – lot of choices. Do you know what your freedom of choice is in America? Paper or plastic. That’s it man. It comes down to paper or plastic, cash or charge, aisle or window, smoking or non-smoking, Coke or Pepsi. These are your choices. Everything else is kind of laid out for you. You get to do what they really want. They do what they want. The ones who own this country, they do what they want.”